Well it came with some instructions. And for some odd reason, I found it amusing. Maybe it was the way my ex-roommate, Caretaker, read it. I dunno.

Since I find these instruction amusing, I figure I'll share them with you.

So here it is, word for word. Literally.

LifeStyles Latex Condoms- How to Use a Condom

1) PUTTING IT ON

- Use a condom before each sex act.

- Squeeze the tip of condom to remove air. (excess air could cause condom to break.)

- When penis is hard (before any sexual contact), place condom on tip and roll down all the way.

2) TAKING IT OFF

- After coming, withdraw penis while still hard.

- Hold on to rim of condom as you withdraw so nothing spills.

- Avoid further sexual contact with your partner until both of you wash yours sex organs and any other areas that came in contact with body fluids.

3) IMPORTANT FACTS

- If more lubrication is needed, use K-Y Jelly® or other water-based or silicone lubricant.

- Do not use oil based lubricants such as Vaseline® petroleum jelly, mineral oil, vegetable oil, or cold cream as these could break the condom.

- If you or you partner sense burning or itching, discontinue use of this condom. Try another type of condom.

-If the condom breaks or semen (cum) spills or leaks out, you and your partner should wash wherever you had sexual contact right away.

- If the condom is stick or brittle or looks damaged, do not use.

- Store at room temperature. Protect latex condoms against prolonged periods of exposure to extreme low or high temperatures, moisture, direct sunlight, and fluorescent light.

4) CONDOM EFFECTIVENESS

Although no prophylactic or contraceptive can guarantee 100% effectiveness, latex condoms, if properly used, wil help reduce the risk of transmission os HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually transmitted diseases, including chlamydia, genital herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, and syphilis. Latex condoms can also prevent pregenancy without the serious side effects sometimes associated with some other methods. Caution: This Product Contains Natural Rubber Latex Which May Cause Allergic Reactions. Condoms are primarily intended for use in vaginal sex; other uses can increase the potential for breakage.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

LifeStyles condoms are available:

·Non-Lubricated - the preferred dry condom

·Lubricated - for a natural feeling

·Lubricated with Spermicide* (Nonoxynol-9) - for extra protection

*Condoms lubricated with Nonoxynol-9 combine a latex condom and a spermaicidal lubricant. The spermicide, Nonoxynol-9, reduces the number of active sperm, thereby decreasing the risk of pregnancy if you lose your erection before withdrawal and some semen spills outside the condom. However, the extent of decreased risk has not been established. This condom should not be used as a substitute for the combined use of a vaginal spermicide and a condom.

It loses its humor after the third step. To me at least. I figured I would type the whole thing. Maybe you'll find humor in it.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Now go have fun with condoms!

Oyasumi Nasia

~Ed

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